I would recomend this host for you because they offer servers with 100 % downtime .

There are some of our plans :

*I`m poor plan
- 200Kb of Storage
- 10Mb of Bandwidth
- PHP 4, 5 and 6
- MySQL, SQL and Oracle
- Dedicated Dedication
- Host Up To 6.8 Sites
- Free Identity Theft

*Take my money plan
- Lots of Storage
- 10Kb of Bandwidth
- PHP 5, 6 and 7
- MySQL and ReiserFS
- 2 Glow Sticks
- Free Broken Toaster
- 24/8 Email Support

Curently they host Over 4,304,503 Websites

Server Downtime
We are constantly working to improve our server downtime.
Keeping you awake at night is our #1 priority.
Clusters and Scalability
If your websites go down we'll make sure to confuse
you with technical terms and instructions. It's our
job to keep you aggravated, and we never disappoint.



Why to choose them ?

Redundant Hosting
Our Redundant Department of Redundancy has a Redundant Server Failover System that will initiate a failover hosting in case of unexpected server uptime.

AJAX Email
Our Web 2.0 Email Interface is open to all our clients and visitors. In the true spirit of Web 2.0, everyone is invited to read and edit your emails for the good of the general public.

24/8 Phone Support
Our phones are always on all 8 days of the week. Operators are standing by to put you on hold the minute you call.

LAMP Server
Our LAMP is powered by 30 halogen bulbs for extra bright lightening that will definitely hurt your eyes.

Linux Powered
Our Linux Free BSD systems are at the forefront of modern technology. By merging several distributions of Linux into one, we were able to create an operating system so complicated we don't even know how to use it ourselves.

Uploading Files
Don't like uploading your files via FTP? No problem! Send us your files on a floppy and we'll upload it for you. It's one of the many ways we do our best to accommodate your needs. Just remember, our floppy system does not accept Windows, Linux, or Mac floppies.

Trust them they are doing what they are saying !

Live server status : Our technicians are currently working on permanently destroying the hardware.

Testimonials :

Quote:I want my money back.

Quote:No Uptime used my credit card to buy porn magazines. This service is a sham!

Quote:There was a time in my life when I was depressed. My doctor recommended that I try No Uptime, and my life has improved significantly. Thanks No Uptime.

Quote:I lost over 40 pounds after switching to No Uptime. Thanks guys!

Quote:No Uptime helped me save my marriage. I don't know where I'd be without them.

Quote:Exceptional service for an exceptional price. My only complaint is that technical support told me to f*ck off when I called them, but everything else has been great.

Did you like the parody ? :lol: Donate ! :good2:

Source : NoUptime

I've seen that website before, it's hilarious.

MyBBTuts

lol thats a funny site :p

I wonder if they offer free hosting :p

Thanks Polarbear541! (Polar or PB)
Admin at Tech Talk
Tuts Team at MyBBSource
Super Mod at AdminSpace.net
Admin at Traffikr.net

haha... thats a funny site.

I know this site, but is funny. :lol:

That is so funny! I never knew such a funny site existed!

hahahaha!

Oh em gee, that is the best host ever, I'm moving my site over to them right now! :P